We beg for light even though we choose to live in the shadows
Afraid to be seen because we are afraid to see ourselves; to face our truth
In the dark, the faintest glow can be mistaken for the sun. We accept the flicker of a match when what we crave is the blinding light of the sun. In full light, a dim candle flame is rendered invisible
We radiate our brightest light when we are authentic; when we are not just accepting, but fully appreciative of who we are
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nstagram had tainted the act of taking pictures and corrupted the act of sharing experiences for me…. so I left.
But then I came back.. and then I left again. And then came back. Then I suspended my account, but then I reinstated it. And for much of that reinstated period, I refused to have the app downloaded on my phone… As if that makes any sense.
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Four days ago, I found a penny on the floor of my place. I picked it up (because it was in the middle of the floor) and put it into my little change jar. The next day I found two pennies. The doubling of the amount reminded me of an example that Darren Hardy mentioned in his book “The Compound Effect”.
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Ever so often, I would find myself having these mental breakdowns that get triggered by the smallest incident. Feelings of being inept, lazy and stagnant, overwhelmed me. Then, I would compound the negative feelings by beating myself up for being ungrateful for this fortunate life that I have. I know that there are people all over the world who would kill to have what I have in this moment. But… I just can’t ignore the screaming in my head. I can’t ignore the truth. The time has come for me to accept that this life, the life that I have settled into, it just isn’t enough for me. As grateful as I am for it, I know there is more that I am suppose to do. I feel it in the deepest parts of my being.
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